5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
