just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
