bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
