If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
try to milk me bitch
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
