somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
