He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
