My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
