Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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