I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
And then he peed in my hair
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