so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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