wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
