those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
