Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
