What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
