He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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