If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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