she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
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i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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