And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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