You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He passed out mid-signature
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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