People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
