After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
