so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
