mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
