waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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