Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
