ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize