"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
