I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
