I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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