R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
two words: eviction party
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
