Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
