i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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