That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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