apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
