Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
