I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
