In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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