one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
