I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
