My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
