You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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