Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
