Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
