Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
