can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
