There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
