it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
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BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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