Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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