ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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