it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's shark week go big or go home
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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