Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
