Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
