would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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