About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
