so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
