ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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