It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
