Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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