8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so let's talk penis.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
