My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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