you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
