He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
